Currently Watching Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights By Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Austin Stout, Jackie Titone see related

SO, iT'S BEEN A YEAR SiNCE MY LAST BLOG.. HEHE.. i'M UPDATING NOW JUST FOR YOU EDCEL, AND BiA..

WELL, ANYWAY, iT'S ALMOST A NEW YEAR, SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT i NEED A NEW'S YEARS RESOLUTiON? iF SO, WHAT SHOULD iT BE? COZ i HAVE NO iDEA..

FOR THOSE WHO KNOW ME, WHAT DO YOU THiNK i SHOULD RESOLVE ABOUT? LOVE YOU!

Currently Playing Love Song By The Cure see related

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[note: under song currently playing, looked for the 311 version, coz it's slower, and more laid back, and i don't kno, something, but yah, i couldn't find it, but anyway, the cure is awesome, but their version doesn't fit with my mood, that's all, so just think of the 311 version, the one you should currently be listening to, if yer volumes up...]

i think........ well, uhh.... i..... i just don't kno what to think.....

i mean..... it's kinda hard to explain.....

love.... it's sooo confusing.... i don't get it.....

ok, here's the deal.... i broke up with my boyfriend.... and i thought life was going great..... i was no longer under him..... i was free to do what i wanted..... i wasn't being used, abused, tormented, mistreated, neglected, and..... whatever.........

so anyways..... i thought my life was even better coz all these guys started getting interested in me, since i didn't have a boyfriend anymore..... i mean, i was totally flattered, since i've only been with one guy for 3, yes, 3 fuckin' years....... i forgot what it felt like to be liked.... i mean, my ex didn't allow me to have friends, not really anyway..... so it was like starting completely new.... i liked it..... ok, i loved it..... you can even say my head got big..... but yah....

so, to continue........ there's this guy i just met..... over christmas break..... i don't kno how to explain it, but like..... mm.... everytime i think of him, i smile, but i also feel sad...... coz i kno i'm never gonna be with him..... i mean.... i think about him almost all the time.... i think about him soo much that sometimes i can't concentrate.... i spend hours, not even realizing, thinking about him...... but, i don't kno, i guess he doesn't feel the same way for me...... i think i may be falling in love with him, but, i kno it's not gonna get anywhere.......

i don't kno...... i feel soooooooo lonely....... i'm starting to think i should go back to my ex even after all he did to me, coz i'm prolly not gonna get with anyone else...... i just really hate the feeling i have........ i hate feeling this way...... i hate being lonely....... i've been alone practically all my life...... i was alone all my life.... no one was ever there..... seriously tho..... i never had anyone except my dogs..... not even my parents were there for me.....  so when i got to experience being with someone, i never wanted it to end........ i wanted to live in that moment forever..... but now, nobody wants to go with me........ i can't take it anymore.........

but i keep thinking of that one guy, and it bothers me sooooooooo much.......

for those of you who kno me, please, please i'm begging you, please........ please tell me if there's anything wrong with me....... i just don't wanna be alone anymore..... or, just anybody, tell me what to do..... give me advice..... just anything.....

Currently Playing Big Bad Voodoo Daddy By Big Bad Voodoo Daddy see related

since i recently got friendster [daymn, i'm a suckah for conformity], and they have this rss thing where the people on friendster can read yer blogs from xanga, i'm gonna post my myspace entries on my xanger so my frienster people can read what i have to say, if they wish..... haha.... juz wait, i myt juz get a livejournal too..... maybe..... daym, it's too much i think.....

ok, takerz! happy new year!

so yah, i've been pretty busy with myspace, but i still wanna keep my xanga updated for anyone who reads this.... anyway, my cousin gale told me to post my myspace blog here coz she really liked what i said, so here it is:

"gggrrrrr..........
Current mood: blah

[[sigh]]..... i do not get these filipinos at all......

they say that dumaguete is the city of gentle people, i have yet to find at least one real one......

damn, i wrote this long ass blog last night, but my computer was being a bitch and froze on me when i was about to post it.... anyway, it basically said how i hate how a lot of filipinos are so plastic.... it also said how i quit the band because of fake, judgmental, and discriminative filipinos......

apparently, no one told me that the philippines' favorite past time is rumor starting, gossiping, reputation ruining, back stabbing, lying, kissing up, and asking for things.....

the thing about that tho, is that, even tho they say things about people, they try so hard just to be like the people they make fun of, or gossip about..... i guess it's coz they're jealous or whatever......... coz they don't have what other people have....

coz like, i've had soooo many rumors started about me that aren't even true, and they just won't quit.... i mean, i'd rather have someone come up to me and say all the things they hate about me instead of them saying things about me when i'm not around and acting innocent when i'm with them.... i guess they do that coz they're afraid that i'm gonna hate them for hating me, and they don't want anyone to hate them, so yah, but i mean... er..... they're such hypocrites..... god, i am so annoyed!

i have done nothing but work my ass off trying to get people to be comfortable with me here... i have never had someone start a conversation with me, i've always been the first to make a move.... i mean, it's not like i'm gonna make fun of their english, the way they all make fun of foreigners who try to speak filipino.... i'm not like that.... i have respect for anyone who has the courage to try to speak english the best they can, even if it's not that good.....

damn, yesterday, during my p.e. class, my classmates were making fun of our korean classmate coz she didn't kno how to bat, but like, there were sooo many girls, erm, native girls, that were just the same, or even worse.... i swear, i felt like telling them off, but i didn't coz i didn't want points taken away from my performance.... but yah, damn fuckers..... they, as they would say, "love their own"......

i would like to conclude that the philippines, specifically dumaguete city, is not in favor of world peace, and good foreign relations, so those who wish to terrorize this place, i invite you to do so! in fact, i welcome you with open arms... i'll even be waiting for you at the airport with leis and margaritas and everything! see ya soon!"

my space: http://profiles.myspace.com/users/11721593

yes, i conformed.....